Effective Ways To Ask Your Child

image source: BabyRabies.com

image source: BabyRabies.com


“Hi, how was your day?”

I can tell that they are bored hearing these words from mommy. They are so used to hearing it on and on and will only limit their answers to “fine” or “okay.”  This afternoon, I tried a different approach.

You are free to imagine my exaggerated face. Plus my exaggerated tone. It made them feel I’m really interested in what they were up to when they were away from me. The result was overwhelming. You will get what I mean as you read along.  But first things first, here are the effective ways to ask your child:

The hunch:

  • I am guessing you had an interesting day today…

The Intrigue:

  • You think you had a good time with your friends today? (whispering) Can you tell me more?
  • How about Ashley (name her best friend), you think she had fun playing with you too?

The specific:

  • What was your favorite activity that you did in school today?

The “when I was a kid like you” method (it will get them to talk, promise)

  • Back in the days when I was small, I remembered I was pretty scared taking my test. How about you, did you feel the same way when you had your test in Math?
  • I remembered the time when I was in Primary 2, there was this big kid that I was so afraid of. Did you ever experience that?

Kids tend to engage more with these interesting questions because they can relate with it easier.  Be more attentive when asking them, but be patient and don’t stress them out when they can’t find words to say. Just sit down with them and enjoy their company. Be more creative but specific. You might also find it effective when you whisper to them while asking these kinds of questions. You can only get them to talk when you talk.


So here’s what happened earlier.

I sat down with them on the dining table and uttered a hunch. “I think all of you had an interesting day today…”

The first to respond was Ethan.

“I told M___ not to kiss me anymore.”


Zack was teasing.

“Me I don’t have a girlfriend yet.”

Sofie changed the subject.

“We said bad words in our class today.” (Watch out for my post about this)

But after hearing all of these, I think I’m going to have a heart attack too. And so be ready.




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8 Responses

  1. Jiahui says:

    oooh I tried creative questioning too! erm like, Is it true Recess was 3 hours today? (something totally off the mark).. then lead in to ohh what happened today at recess then? 🙂
    Jiahui recently posted…PurelyFresh brings the Freshest for Three-Egg Steamed DishMy Profile

  2. Yeah, I have to think real hard of ways to talk to my kids about school without sounding like I’m interrogating them!
    Debs G @ Owls Well recently posted…Basic First Aid for Anxious Parents: Treating a FeverMy Profile

  3. Waiwai says:

    Thanks for sharing. I have been asking “How’s is your day”!
    Waiwai recently posted…Book Review + Giveaway: JJ’s Science Adventure: MagnetsMy Profile

  4. Asking in a different manner yields us different results. I’ve tried asking different questions too when I asked my girl how was her day at school, and was surprised that she would say different things when prompted in a different manner. Parenting is interesting!
    Kless @ The J Babies recently posted…Cafes In Singapore: Stateland CafeMy Profile

  5. Claudia says:

    I’ve also slowly changed the way I ask my questions to my elder girl, but whether or not she reply depends on her mood. Most of the time I got silent as my answer. LOL.

  6. Dotz says:

    These are great questions! We really need to be creative in order to encourage our kids to share about their day… I love the snippet of conversation you shared with your kids at the end! Now I’m wondering what the story of that kiss is all about 😉

  7. Shirley says:

    Nice! I never thought that I would need to stop being their parent and be right where they are – 6 and 8yo. That would certainly help to bridge the gap! Thanks for the reminder ♡♡

    Shirley @ SAys! Happy Mums
    Shirley recently posted…{Giveaway} I Theatre |The Way Back Home (by Oliver Jeffers)My Profile

  8. Mary says:

    I am also going through this phase where I have to word my questions consciously instead of just saying “How was your day?”
    Mary recently posted…Birth Stories: The birth of K (or, I did it without epidural!)My Profile

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