Dadvice:  #2 On keeping your promises…

click here to read our Dadvice article #1 On treating your Parents



He made his own money

Have to double check if this complies with bank regulation ten dollar notes 🙂


Let me tell you about a simple story that has caught my attention the past few days:

Last weekend, our kids spent the night in our room, and while we were about to sleep, my eldest asked if he could have an extra pillow to hug.  I got back up and went to the other room to get him extra pillows, and after I gave it to him, I said with a resounding voice “Your wish is yours to keep…” feeling and impersonating a genie that we once watched in one of their cartoon shows.  My second child, my daughter, quickly picked up on to what I was acting out, and told me “Daddy, do I get a wish as well?…”.  So I told her yes, all three of them could have one wish tonight.  My daughter then said, “Daddy, I wish for an eye patch”.  I complied with her demand and as with the first, I completed with the phrase “Your wish is yours to keep…” still trying to do a convincing genie voice.  Now my youngest son, Zack, has had time to think about his wish while I was tending to his sister.  He then told me “ Daddy, my wish is to have $10 “.  My wife and I were a bit surprised and were laughing at how ingenious this little boy has used his wish.  However, as it was already late in the night, I told him that I would give him his wish but also asked if he could wait until tomorrow, as I had no change for $10 at that time.  He happily agreed, and they all went to sleep smiling.

The next day, I have been quite pre-occupied as my wife and I had a lot of chores to do, and activities planned for the whole weekend.  To cut the story short, I forgot to give my son his $10 from the evening before, which I promised.  On Sunday night, my wife told me that she saw something in my youngest son’s coin bank.  It was a small piece of cut-out rectangular paper, colored with orange crayons and designed with a mark saying “10 Dollers”.  It didn’t immediately sink with me but when my wife asked him about it, he said that it was the money that Daddy has promised to give him.  I suddenly felt guilty and moved at the same time.

Here is my son, who has not bothered me, not even once, the whole weekend about his money, whilst actually expecting me to keep my promise.  When I forgot about his “10 Dollers”, he made sure on his own way that I’d still keep my promise to him.  That night before they went to bed, I made sure to sneak and switch his paper $10 with a real one.  I then told him to check his coin bank before he went to bed, and he was very surprised and happy.  I tucked him to bed and whispered to him “Your wish is yours to keep…”, he smiled then went to sleep.

It is common, perhaps  natural, for us parents to have “expectations” of our children.  We aspire that our kids should grow up to be good, honest, loyal, compassionate, and brave, among many others things.  Some people may have high expectations, while some, not so much, but this is all OK.  It only shows that we want our young ones to gain the qualities to be happy and successful for their life in the future.

However, we may sometimes neglect to think that although we have “expectations” of our kids, they too, have the same “expectations” on us.  They look up to us to be good examples, role models, and to basically just to be there to depend upon.  In our busy days today, it is easy to forget to keep our promises,  forget to be nice to other people, and forget to be good role models.  Nevertheless, as parents, it should always be our responsibility to do our best and live up to our children’s expectations.  We are after all, their own heroes that they see everyday.



Dadvice: #1 On treating your Parents

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Daddy Said…


Things that you want to make sure your kids know …or not know

Often times in life, we take a look back on things that we’ve done and thought – “if I only knew, I might have done better…”   This realization is not bad, when you think about it, it’s actually edification.  It means that you’ve now learned something new, which you didn’t know before.  Knowledge is Power.  And as a 90’s kid, I’ve come to realize that there is wisdom in what my favorite cartoon show always says – “Knowing is half the battle”.

Although it is true that experience is the best teacher, it doesn’t just have to be only your own experience that you should rely on to teach you.  We can also learn lessons from experiences of other people, and use it to our advantage.

In this section of Daddy said, I would like to give my kids that advantage and impart to them some of the important life lessons, and “life-hacks”, that I’ve learned in my life as well as from others.  Though some of these things may seem to be ‘common sense’ to us parents, at times, we tend to forget that our kids don’t know these things yet.  They could greatly learn from it and it may help improve their perspective in life.

Please join me as I share to my kids the stuff that they should know (or maybe shouldn’t know yet) about the birds and the bees, and the flowers and the trees…  And who knows, maybe you and your kids can share some of your life lessons too.

For today’s post…

dadvice 1

#1   On treating your Parents

Always love and respect them period.  Yes, it’s true that sometimes we might do some things that seem unfair to you, but do trust that we always have your best interest at heart.  I’ve loved you from the day you were born and will continue to do so until my dying breath, no intermissions in between.  It is the same with your mom, and your grandparents as well.  You may not always see it, but your mom and I love and respect our parents very much too.  They have been there for us, with love, patience, and understanding, holding our hands, ever since we could remember.  And this is the same promise that we make to you.  When all the world comes crumbling down, we are the ones who will always be here for you… near, far, and wherever you are.

And the next time you get to talk with your parents or elders, take time to listen.  There are a lot of things they can teach us, simply by telling us the consequences of what they did, or did not do, in their lives. Reciprocate with love, compassion and most of all, with respect.


When your child says “NO!” – how to win over an opposing child

PicsArt_1385525239891When your child says no… “then how?”

It’s very easy for us adults, to communicate rejection. We reason, we take time to listen, we process, then we stop- all in just a blink of an eye.
But for kids, most especially for toddlers, what they understand is just their own feelings which they can only express in a very limited vocabulary.
“No” is a big word for them, and once a parent gave in to his child after saying the “NO” word, he will start to test his limits… and so, the battle begins.

It can be irritating at times, we know we are right,  we have a sound reason but it’s kinda hard to convey when they show lack of interest in you and your requests. It’s two opposing streets for both you and your child… your way, and his way.
My words for you: don’t give up, accept the challenge, show him that you’re also a toughie:

1. First, encourage and help (when your child need it).
Remember that you shouldn’t be harsh right away. Use the “sayang” or “lambing” or “courtship” method.
Most of us know that this technique is way better than demanding your child what to do. Children copy their parents, so if you ask in a friendly manner, your child will most likely to follow you.
“Zack, I know that you are still having fun playing, but if you brush your teeth now, daddy will be happy and daddy will play with you again.”
“Don’t worry, daddy will help you brush your teeth, it will be just very quick.”

2. If he rejects, do the drama (well, not so much).
Children don’t want their parents sad.
In my almost 7 years of being a mom, I realized how much they are concerned with my feelings. I still remember when Zack (he’s one and a half yo at that time) saw me crying (no biggie, really) and all he kept on telling me was “Mommy… don’t cry… I promise…”
Just like their parents, they can not help it when we’re sad too.
“I’m feeling sad right now, because I know you will follow me…but you are still playing.”
If that doesn’t work, try to:

3. Be firm and exercise authority.
Tell him that he ought to do what you told him to do because you are his parent. Explain to him the importance of being an obedient child. It’s okay now to be as firm as Adolf (since you did everything you could ) but don’t overdo it.
“Zack, you need to follow me now, or else I will be angry at you.”

As always, it is important to use nice words to your child after the tiring yet successful chase.
“I’m happy now, you have been a good boy because you followed me.”
Make way for cuddles and kisses because the two of you deserve it. 🙂